i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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