I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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