Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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