I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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