I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
