ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just want to make out with him forever
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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