yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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