Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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