theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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