i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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