i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Quick, to the slutcave!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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