it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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