So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
