belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You made out with two different species that night
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
