I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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