You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
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i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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