Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize