dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
