I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
