I think my fart just growled at me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
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The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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