yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
