Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
