Please, let me fuck your mom
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
