So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
When are your genitals available?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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