he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
