Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
