you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
