I just made out with a guy for $7.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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