you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
