I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
