im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
