I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
