So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
