you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You smell like a Billy Joel song
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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