I wannas sexs uuuuu
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize