You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize