Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
