Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
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So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
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I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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