it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize