Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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