There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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