i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
