i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Semen is not good for contacts.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
