Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
