Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
