a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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