my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize