I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
