i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize