i jhust puked up my retainher.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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