you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
