Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
