I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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