I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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