just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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