From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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