he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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