saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
