i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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