i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
