I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize