Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
