You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
