then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
